Parents play different roles in our lives depending on our upbringing and culture. My boyfriend's family is wonderful and close, but his parents are no doubt different than mine. One of the biggest differences is that my parents are not keen to the idea of dating.
In Indian culture, parents do not consider their child finding a significant other until their child is at an age where they are ready to get married. Of course this aspect is slowly changing into the open idea of dating in the United States, but some families still operate in a more traditional manner. My family is certainly traditional. My parents are conservative and are not the type of parents I can go home to and say I'm dating so-and-so and then a few months down the road say I'm dating someone else. When it comes to dating, Indian culture values longevity and commitment.
Although I have dated others before my current boyfriend, I always knew I would never tell my parents about who I was dating unless I felt I could marry my boyfriend. I also knew that my boyfriend would never meet my parents until he and I felt we could get married one day. This was certainly a tough pill for my current boyfriend to swallow because his family is very open with dating. I met his parents after 3 months of dating, if I remember correctly. This was a daunting idea for me as I was not accustomed to this. On the flip side, it was hard for my boyfriend to understand that he would not be able to meet my parents, nor would then even know of his existence, until much much farther down the road. When time came to meet my parents, which happened about a year and a half into our relationship, he was certainly ready!
Aside from the timeline, the issues faced when meeting your significant other's parents are tenfold when you're in an interracial relationship. I was worried that my parents wouldn't be able to identify with my boyfriend and vice-versa. I was worried my boyfriend would feel left out when my and my family got together and he didn't understand some of our traditions. I was worried my boyfriend would feel slighted because oftentimes my family and I speak in Gujarati when we get together, and my boyfriend does not know enough of the language to understand what we are saying.
I always knew that my parents and my boyfriend would ultimately look at each other as people and see each other as good, honest people and get to know each other in that way, rather than focusing on the cultural differences. I learned that the stronger and more confident I was about my relationship with my boyfriend and his relationship with my parents, the more relaxed my parents and boyfriend became. Interracial relationships are challenging no doubt, but if everyone involved can see each other as people, rather than as a certain race or religion, beautiful things can happen!
In Indian culture, parents do not consider their child finding a significant other until their child is at an age where they are ready to get married. Of course this aspect is slowly changing into the open idea of dating in the United States, but some families still operate in a more traditional manner. My family is certainly traditional. My parents are conservative and are not the type of parents I can go home to and say I'm dating so-and-so and then a few months down the road say I'm dating someone else. When it comes to dating, Indian culture values longevity and commitment.
Although I have dated others before my current boyfriend, I always knew I would never tell my parents about who I was dating unless I felt I could marry my boyfriend. I also knew that my boyfriend would never meet my parents until he and I felt we could get married one day. This was certainly a tough pill for my current boyfriend to swallow because his family is very open with dating. I met his parents after 3 months of dating, if I remember correctly. This was a daunting idea for me as I was not accustomed to this. On the flip side, it was hard for my boyfriend to understand that he would not be able to meet my parents, nor would then even know of his existence, until much much farther down the road. When time came to meet my parents, which happened about a year and a half into our relationship, he was certainly ready!
Aside from the timeline, the issues faced when meeting your significant other's parents are tenfold when you're in an interracial relationship. I was worried that my parents wouldn't be able to identify with my boyfriend and vice-versa. I was worried my boyfriend would feel left out when my and my family got together and he didn't understand some of our traditions. I was worried my boyfriend would feel slighted because oftentimes my family and I speak in Gujarati when we get together, and my boyfriend does not know enough of the language to understand what we are saying.
I always knew that my parents and my boyfriend would ultimately look at each other as people and see each other as good, honest people and get to know each other in that way, rather than focusing on the cultural differences. I learned that the stronger and more confident I was about my relationship with my boyfriend and his relationship with my parents, the more relaxed my parents and boyfriend became. Interracial relationships are challenging no doubt, but if everyone involved can see each other as people, rather than as a certain race or religion, beautiful things can happen!
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